a child and abuse

I felt so helpless
And I could have saved you
I should have
But my legs refused to move
And I couldn't talk
I just stood there
And watched
I could have saved you
If I had only been a bit stronger
It was a long time ago now
But I remember it
As if it were yesterday
I could have saved you
I could have jumped on his back
Screamed at him to stop
But I just stood there
And watched
As he beat you
And you screamed
Screamed for the pain to stop
And picked you up
I thought he was going to apologize
But he didn't
He picked you up
And threw you
Against the mirror
It shattered
And you lay there
Un-moving
Silent
Covered in blood
Your leg was at a funny angle
And there were tears coming from your eyes
And you just lay there
Staring into the cracked, bloody mirror
Staring into your own eyes
And
With your last breath
You croaked my name
'Eva…'
And I whispered back
'James…'
But the light left his eyes
And my father turned to me
His eyes were wild
And he was grinning
As if he had gotten a kick
Out of what he had just done
I ran
And I ran
And I never went home
Not after that night
The night my father
Killed
My brother
He'd done nothing wrong
He'd fallen
And ripped his trousers
My father
Just couldn't forgive
My brother
James
Was a year younger than me
We were close
I could have saved him
I should have
But I was only three